Well I have been feeling a bit better, I can go out and do one thing per day and I seem to be alright, although I am very very tired afterwards and usually end up on the couch with a heating pad half asleep afterwards. Its hard just to go down the street and get a half gallon of milk. At times it feels as though someone has poked a sharp metal object up the right side of my uterus. I can FEEL it inside. Sometime I wonder if its mental. My mom keeps telling me that the mind can torture the body if you have bad feelings pent up. I have been trying to feel my feelings, to let go and forgive myself. John admitted last night that he has been having nightmares about me on the operating table, with a lot of blood. Or his baby in the room all bloody. He was crying when he told me this. I am thankful that he has been here, has been very supportive and really cares about me. It is hard to hear him say he wishes we could have kept the baby. It's even harder to hear him say that sometimes he regrets it.