after shocks

just when you think that things are out of your system, something happens to remind you that this was a life changing experience and it will always be a part of you. John went out and had a few drinks the other night and came home visibly upset. I tried to understand what was wrong, and in his incoherent state he blurted out "I made you do it", "it's my fault" and told me how he saw a beautiful child in the park that day and it just shook him to the core. I knew that our silence about the subject was breeding a build up of emotions that would need to be dealt with, and there it was. We cried together and held each other and agreed to talk about our feelings more often.