the path to recovery

I am feeling so much better.
the pain is only lingering memory and reminder every once in awhile not to over-do it

this must be what it feels like when they perform the abortion and get it all out the first time, mild cramps and barely any bleeding.

It's only been a few days and I've had so many ups and downs i'm still a bit nervous that i may have a bleed or the cramps may come back strong. I am so anxious to be better.

I am hoping to be better by new years, we have friends visiting and are going to a club in times square.

christmas was such a wash, i just want to have a good new years so i can forget it.

John and i went to counseling the other day. It was a promise we made to each other when we reconciled and moved back in together, our therapist is wonderful at getting to the root of a problem and asking simple questions that we'd never even think to ask each other, like "what did you need from her when you were feeling that way?"
She pointed out that it seems like John really cares about me.
I know that in my heart but it felt wonderful to hear from a professional.
We talked a little about the abortion and I cried, tears came to JOhns eyes as he told her sometimes he regrets it.
She pointed out that I need him to talk to me about it, and i agreed.
it feels good to know he is here, and even better when we talk about it.
we're going through this together, and even though i wish it had never happened, i am thankful that we have each other.